Am I Giving Up On My Ballet Dreams?

Eight long years - that's how long I've stopped having formal training. That's how long I've been questioning my purpose despite moving forward with another career path. In all the things I do, there's this ballerina inside me who wants to get out from the darkness and continue pursuing her passion.

"It's really difficult to give-up that one thing which makes you truly happy especially when you know that you have what it takes to be the best in the world. :(" - I wrote that 4 years ago and it's still applicable up to this day.

Am I giving up on my ballet dreams?

Honestly, I currently have no idea. I mean, for 8 years, I've been living my life without ballet classes in my daily routine. I do miss it so bad. But with all the things I do, will I be able to squeeze ballet into my busy schedule? But then again, having a freelance life now and not being too busy is actually making me reflect on what's going on in my life and there are times wherein thoughts come creeping in - is ballet really something I want to pursue because if I really want to pursue it, then why am I putting it at the back of my pocket instead of doing steps to get to the end goal of dancing again? I question my self really.

There are a lot of factors on why I am still not back in dancing ballet. But the two main factors are TIME and MONEY.

The reason why I'm writing my heart out again is because I am currently reading Lori Smith's Jane Austen's Guide to Life. And quoting it, "We are free to dream and do just about anything we want. Jane would tell us above all things to be sensible, wise, humble, and brave - and to follow our hearts." I am not yet done reading the book, not even half way in finishing it but somehow, it pushes me and motivates me to not give up on my ballet dream.

The thing is, for the past few years, I keep on telling myself and the people around me that "I will soon be back in dancing ballet" and this repetitive statement coming out of my mouth could probably be just an excuse I am setting up for myself for me to still keep the "ballerina" title but in actuality, I may no longer be one because I am not dancing anymore. I could have just pursue it, you know.

Am I giving up on my ballet dreams? I seriously question myself.

For the past 8 years that I have stopped dancing, my heart just can't help but still buy some ballet necessities. I still have a lot of bobby pins and band-aids at home and I continue to buy them. I have also bought a new leotard, a new ballet skirt, a pair of red ballet shoes (flats), and even a new pointe shoes which I was supposed to use at my grandma's 80th birthday but ended up using my old one since I felt like I haven't really broken my new pair yet since I will be dancing on tiles and that's a bit dangerous. Every time I'm at the mall, I also window shop for dance bags.

I have also bought a foot massage tool because I usually get cramps now when I do feet exercises.  I've bought a yoga mat as well because I want to do exercises at home to stretch out my muscles since I feel like I'm not as flexible as I used to before. I'm working on it now since my goal is to go back this year - wasn't able to fulfill that last year even though that was my goal.

It must be nice to have an airtrack to dance around and train one's self though. When I was little, I also wanted to either try gymnastics or figure skating because I wanted to compete. Told you I wanted to do so many things! But those two sports could just remain as dreams.

An airtrack is the basic equipment to gymnastics. Every athlete risks their lives in training for their chosen sport no matter how careful and elite they are. Accidental situation will happen inevitably out of one's expectation so safety is always a priority. Air tracks for gymnastics are definitely a necessity to practice those stunts to avoid getting hurt and breaking bones. is the world's largest supplier of inflatable air track and has several years of experience in producing airtrack. They have developed the best quality of air tumble track and ensures that each part keeps the best quality.

If I have known many years ago that there's something like this, I might have pushed through my gymnast dreams. I may have been a ballerina-slash-gymnast though I'm not so sure if I will be able to keep up with that life since I still haven't gotten back in dancing which is so heart-breaking. 

I don't think I'm giving up on my ballet dreams. I don't even feel like giving up though there are times when sadness is taking over me and I kind of think that it's too late to go back now, at this age. But then again, it is never too late to hope.

So let's see if I can work this out this year. Let's see where life will take me.

So if you're passionate about something and if you feel like giving up, do reflect and listen to what your heart is really telling you.. no money and no pressure from other people involved. Just you and what your heart wants.

Don't give up! I'm not giving up and so should you. :)

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Disclosure: This is a sponsored post by Wholesaleairtrack but all thoughts and opinions, as per usual, are mine.


Rae Abigael J. Caacbay is a young creative who went through a quarter life crisis by the end of 2016. Though she's still lost, she keeps on moving forward anyway as a ballerina, visual artist, lifestyle blogger, and a BS Interior Design graduate based in the Philippines.


  1. "Don't give up!" - thank you for the inspiration! You are so beautiful in dance)

  2. I like your post so much ❤️❤️❤️

    I follow you: Visit and follow ----> Marija's blog

  3. Wonderful photos, you look so happy when you dance ballet. Fitting ballet into a grown up schedule must be hard, but if we really try, everything is possible.

    1. That's why I'm not giving up, Ivana. hehe. Thank you so much! Keep doing art and keep your passion burning too! :">

  4. I used to do ballet as well, but haven't in many years. I definitely miss it so much! I often think about taking a casual ballet class once a week or so, but haven't actually done that yet. I hope you are able to find a way to bring ballet back into your life! :D

    1. awww thank you so much, Sarah! I didn't know that you used to do ballet too! I hope we both get to dance ballet again soon! :) Have a wonderful week :))

  5. Hello Never give up on your dreams I was a dancer my whole life stage is part of me But I also love so many other things like fashion travel and photography I am changing careers without killing my love for dance I exercise everyday and most of the time my exercise is dance fitness Nowadays ballet classes for fitness and fun exist so you can keep dancing without the feeling of giving up Once a dancer always a dancer it is part of who you are. Find time to dance if money is an issue do it at home there are so many amazing dance classes on youtube I do it everyday in front of the TV. That way you still do what you love and have time to chase other dreams. Have a lovely week xoxo Cris

    1. Hi Cris! Thank you so much. You are very sweet and your words are very uplifting. ;) I am actually doing ballet stretches and exercises at home because I want to prepare myself since it's already been 8 long years and my bones may have been brittle now, not to mention, I can no longer do splits so I am prepping myself up. Hopefully, I get to achieve my end goal that is to get back to my formal training in my dance school this year. I'll do everything to get to that point so I'm working hard and fixing my life. hehe. It's so nice to know that I am not alone in this journey though, that you're also changing career paths yet you are not giving up dance. I miss the stage so much and I know that you miss it too. Once a dancer always a dancer. Thank you so much Cris! :))

  6. Lovely post dear! Have a great week! xx

  7. so cool!!!
    thanks for sharing!!!

  8. Beautiful photos Rae! You should never give up on your dreams! Best of luck with everything!

  9. You look fabulous dancing in that blue ballet outfit!
    Kudos to you for resolving to do what your heart wants and to undertake your training safely!
    I love your video from Feb 22, 2011 titled Rae Abigael Caacbay (with Czarisse Villacruel) -Happy By Leona Lewis ballet | Raellarina - YouTube.
    It would/will be wonderful watching more of your videos when you get fully back into form to live your ballet dreams or along the way.

    1. awww thank you so much! It's been so long since I last danced but it's so nice to know that you've seen that old video of mine! Thanks so much! I really do appreciate :">

  10. You look like a beautiful ballerina, dear! Pls don't give up! xoxo