It has been 4 years now but the pain is still very fresh and vulnerable. The emotional stress and depression I feel from not being able to dance on my toes, and not being able to wear my leotards and tights while inside the mirrored room where I can only hear the magnificent and wonderful world of ballet through classical music and Ms. Damian's voice correcting my poorly executed steps, are still haunting me every single day ever since I stopped taking formal lessons. It's really hard because this feeling never really stopped.
It's really hard to give-up on something you really want especially when you know that you are good... that you are capable of exceeding your own limitations in order to find out how much more can you go. I am not bragging but from time to time, I think life is unfair because this is that one thing that I know I am really good at so why was it taken away from me? :(
I am pretty much aware that a career as a professional ballerina is like a 50-50 chance of being successful and being a failure. But you see, the thing is, I don't care. I just want to dance and feel as if I am actually important in this world. I just want to dance and forget about everything for a while. I just want to dance and be happy. I just want to dance!
P.S. I am literally crying while writing this. :"( But one thing is for sure, I will never give this dream up. :)