2018: My Year of Taking Risks, Self-Discovery & Recovery

{photo credit: Arby}

(For previous year-ender posts: 2014, 2016)

All I can say is, there must be more to life than just working 8-5 and paying bills. There must be so much more to what my life may have in store. And so I took the risk this year. It was very difficult and scary but worth every tear. And I am just so proud of myself for being brave and following what my heart wants all along, despite all the voices I hear from time to time. I don't want to live my life by working for other people just so I can suffice the responsibility of paying bills and of surviving. I know that I can pay bills and survive by doing what I love. I don't want to be imprisoned in what this world has designed and expected me to do. I am more than that.

So despite me being a people-pleaser (I'm slowly trying to balance this behavior of mine), I followed my heart no matter what people say. As Arby told me, "why do you listen to what they're gonna say?". And true enough, this is my life. And I only get to live one life so I might as well live it the way I want it to be lived.

And I'm so glad that I did that this year. Because I made my heart very, very happy.

Here's a bunch of highlights from my 2018:

JANUARY. Finally started a business venture with my closest friend. We've been wanting to do this for the longest time so I'm beyond grateful that we finally pushed through. // Sourcing, meetings, and start of construction for my freelance interior design work. // My 1 year work anniversary at this company (lol. I survived this long despite everything. haha) // dinner outs with friends and family // Sto. Nino Procession


FEBRUARY. Construction Phase of my design project // Did a commissioned wall mural project for the condo unit that my friend designed! // Ash Wednesday on Valentine's Day


MARCH. I FINALLY RESIGNED. SO HAPPY. // Baguio Day Trip with my mom and brother. //  Project Turned Over.


APRIL. Staycation at Villa Elisha in Antipolo with bloggers and my mom // I ziplined! hoorah!! // Phillip's Sanctuary // My brother's high school graduation // My cousin's graduation


MAY. Tagaytay Staycation with my bully best friend // Dreamland Arts and Crafts Cafe (finally!) // Nueva Ecija Trip (Wonderview Resort) // Mom's birthday



JUNE. Bonding with the cousins. // Meeting. // Day Outs and Night Outs with friends and family // First time to try the Pink Drink at Starbucks and I got addicted // The bully best friend's birthday//  Bonding with the bully best friend // Bonding with my college best friend


JULY. My 25th birthday // My brother's 19th birthday // I attended 3 weddings this month - at Jardinita De Maria Pavilion, My eldest cousin's wedding (a first in the family), and my YFC Dance Ministry Head's wedding // The best friend made padala to me the book that I've been begging him to buy for me. hehe.


AUGUST. Blog event: Private Cupping // Beach Trip with my High School Friends // Ditch the itch event with mommy // My college best friend's birthday


SEPTEMBER. Dad's birthday // Chai Tea Training // Bonding with ate tin before she leaves for the US // This month was very tough.


OCTOBER. My brother's 22nd birthday // Project with a local celebrity :) // This month was a bit rough, tbh. So many trials. // New puppy! // The bully is back in the PH! huhu. I missed him so bad. // Visited Padre Pio's relic in Batangas // Attended a wedding of my kababata (my mom's friend's son)


NOVEMBER. Visited Venice Grand Canal Mall // I got bitten by the puppy. lol. // Postal Heritage Tour // Visited National Museum of Anthropology // David's Arrival in the PH // Equilibrium's 20th Anniversary and I won in the raffle // David Archuleta's Christmas benefit concert 


{find me if you can. lol}


DECEMBER. Another freelance interior design project closed! // Construction phase of the project // Bonding with the college bestfriend // I got my ears pierced for the 3rd and 4th time! // Quality time with family and friends



Trials, failures, breakdowns, and struggles occurred. I wouldn't say I'm the epitome of success as I still have soooo much to learn and I have a long way to go. But I grew this year and had some progress and I guess that's what's important. And I didn't stop despite every reason to do so. I juggled interior design works, our furniture business, contractor works, visual arts work, blogging and content creating this year. I would have not learned and gained as much if I chose to be stuck inside the 4 walls of an office working for other people.

I took the risk this year, of going freelance, and I must say, it was very tough especially because I don't only support just myself financially. But it did what it had to be done and I am happy. In the middle of my journey this year though, a really huge issue took place. And that could have made me stop and drop everything in order to easily correct everything. But I didn't take the easy way out, instead, I took the road less traveled and crawled myself out despite all the hardships and struggles. I gained a lot from that and I realized a bunch of things as well.

I was able to discover myself more this year and through self-discovery, I was able to recover from my rock bottom. Yes it took me a while but I learned that life isn't a race and we all have our own phase. I just have to focus on myself more.

Thank you so much to all my clients this year for the trust! Thank you so very much to the very few people who believed in me for doing the unusual especially to my ever trusted partner and closest friend, Arby, for always pushing me to go beyond my limits and for always being there when I breakdown (like, 2-3 times a month hahaha), and to my ever-supportive dad for always being so encouraging and for believing in me. Only a few people didn't "really" add up to the emotional stress I face every single day as I battle with myself and how my career is going as I am actually very brittle and words affect me big time.

2018 WAS SO FRIGGIN' AWESOME!! TOOK ME 2 YEARS TO RECOVER (haven't fully recovered tho) FROM MY QUARTER LIFE CRISIS!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH, 2018!!! I AM HAPPY. 

2018, you have been eye-opening. I know now what I am truly capable of doing. That was an awesome ride. I treasure each and every people who's been with me in my struggles since 2016. I also found out who my real friends are. They deserve me at my best too that's why I will never ever forget them.

I can't wait where 2019 will take me. I know that my best friend will be living very, very far away from me starting next year and that would be extremely difficult for me but I want him to be happy too. He's been with me at my worse so I need to support him in whatever decision he makes.

Without realizing, I got to travel so much this year. I guess that made me appreciate life more. I hope to travel more next year! Please be nice to me, 2019.

Happy New Year, everyone! Thanks for sticking around. :)


love lots,
Rae


RaeAbigael

Rae Abigael J. Caacbay is a young creative who went through a quarter life crisis by the end of 2016. Though she's still lost, she keeps on moving forward anyway as a ballerina, visual artist, lifestyle blogger, and a BS Interior Design graduate based in the Philippines.

6 comments:

  1. Nice year dear!!Have a 2019 full of dreams

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  2. Congrats on going free lance and starting your own business. I already read about it on your blog but I loved getting to read the full story behind it. You are right to feel proud of yourself. Happy 2019. I wish you all the best.

    https://modaodaradosti.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thank you so much, Ivana! It's a tough life but all is well and i know that everything's gonna be worth it :) Happy 2019 too and I wish for you to have a prosperous and blessed year! Good luck with everything! :D

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  3. Congrats! It is really nice to hear that you took this risk! I do not want to work for others too, however I am not so brave as you!

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    1. Thank you! It's a tough lifestyle but you just gotta do what you gotta do. I hope you'll follow your heart soon too. I wish you all the best. Happy New Year! :)

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