A hiphop-ing ballerina



"Each dance step I execute is a step closer to my dreams. If I can do the difficult steps, then I know I can reach the highest dreams I do."
-Rae Abigael a.k.a. raellarina :)

I admit, I'm not a great dancer and I don't even consider myself good. but every time my toes touch the stage, I know that I can be the best in the world because of this unexplainable happiness and satisfaction every vain in my body feels which goes straight to my heart.

I've been deforming my bones and muscles in leotards and tights with blood and sweat inside the mirrored room since I was 4 years old at the Vella C. Damian School of Ballet. I was disciplined, developed, thought how to face my fears, thought how to be confident, and most of all, I was thought to believe in myself, and made me feel like I'm something more. Unfortunately, my 12 years of happiness was cut short as I entered college. And I was tearfully desperate until I met these guys:









The YFC-UST Dance Ministry was considerate enough to give me a chance. I honestly rejected them twice because I was frightened to dance hiphop again after what happened in high school. But I was desperate so I gave in, and I'm so glad I did.




Long story cut short. So last year, I stopped studying but decided to visit the YFC-UST. They invited me to dance again and I accepted it.










In those three dances I had with DEFY, they gave me the opportunity to have ballet solos. And I'm so thankful they did because at least I had something to look forward to and redeem myself after goofing with the hiphop. hahaha. That way, they made me feel comfortable while trying to break free from my comfort zone.



DEFY accepted me for who i am and believe me,  most people hate me and I've been insecure for as long as I remember. But with them, i never felt that and that's why I love them so much. I don't need to change to fit in.





By the way, these photos are were taken at the UST Medicine Auditorium's backstage while waiting for our turn to perform. I guess we were just trying to spend our last time together as DEFY for the school year and we just wanted to create memories.




Thanks for everything DEFY! You made me survive the sadness in me. :">

RaeAbigael

Rae Abigael J. Caacbay is a ballerina, visual artist, and a BS Interior Design graduate based in the Philippines. She went through a quarter life crisis by the end of 2016 and though she's lost in the middle of fulfilling her dreams, she still keeps on moving forward anyway. Most of her work focuses on interior design, writing/marketing, and painting.

5 comments:

  1. Continue fulfilling your dreams my dear! I support you :)

    Nice to see hiphop alternative to a ballet routine! Must really watch you someday :)

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  2. That is such an inspiring and encouraging blogpost! Thank you for writing it and sharing your story.
    You have every reason to be confident and happy! <3

    x Vanessa | houseinthesand.blogspot.com

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  3. I'm so proud of you. More dances together bebe :)

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  4. it's always a cool thing when you dance for the Lord!
    good job Rae! keep it up! :)

    lavinajampit.blogspot.com

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